It is Easter today. I think it's strange that Easter is no longer even viewed as a holiday at work. This day doesn't really have any meaning for me either. I love the Lord and I am eternally grateful for what he did on the cross for me. I recognise that everyday! I suppose it would be nice to celebrate that with others today but I am working today instead.
We have really enjoyed Florida this time around even more than last time. I am kinda itchin to go elsewhere though. We are hoping to go to Tennessee next. It sounds like a beautiful place to live.

I am feeling heavy hearted today. It has been a difficult day for me. I was awakened this am by a call from a dear friend. He described some difficulties he is having with his children and their abbhorrent behavior. His kids are almost the same ages as mine. My children have hardly any of the struggles that he mentioned. My heart aches for him....and them!! I am having difficulty putting into words how I feel. I don't want to sound like I know how to raise kids and he doesn't. I have to attribute my children's lack of struggles to keeping them with us instead of sending them to school. My wife said the other day that it is sad to send your children away from your presence for the best part of the day. I agree with that. It seems to me that my friends kids are suffering spiritually because they have been under an authority that could care less about God and how they are honoring Him with their lives. My friend is a Godly man. His children are suffering. I wanted to impress on him that their well being is worthy of his best effort; even if it is radical. I could pontificate and offer my opinions but honestly, all I have to offer him is that if he brings his kids back home, then these types of things will not happen. It is our responsibility to train them the proper way of living. When they have learned to behave properly, then they are released into society to influence it for the glory of God as well as to serve and love their fellow human being. You don't have to go far to see how sick the public school system has become. Perhaps there may be successes, but those will be in spite of the school system and not because of it! There is a spiritual warfare going on for the souls of all of our children. WE must do battle because there is a war going on for their hearts. We will lose if we sit by and do nothing. This world is not our home. This world is NOT our home! I see taking your children out of the schools as the right step towards taking a stand for the Lord. I am not blaming the teachers. Ask one if you know one! Their hands are tied by all the regulations! They are forced by the sheer number of kids in their class to teach for mediocrity. Mind you, I am not one who even thinks academic studies are that important. But I will say with some confidence, that if anyone allows their kids to stay home and doesn't even do any formal teaching, but just allows them to read, ask questions, and just spend time with mom or dad, they will learn more than if they go to an institution to learn. My heart goes out to my dear friend. I will be praying for him and his children.

I have been pondering some things in my mind and heart over the last few weeks. I am amazed how much time can go by between my posts. I so enjoy just writing things down here and yet I get sidetracked often from doing so. I feel as if I haven't written in a long time. I feel a real connection with my Creator when I sit to write of how He has been working through me and in my life. I forget often all the things HE seems to do for me daily. So I think it's satan working to keep me from documenting Gods actions in my life so he can keep me from seeing all that my Lord actually does for me daily. He knows my inner fears and worries. He meets all my needs and many of my wants. It is my hope to write more often.

OK. so they stuck me in the icu today at work. I worked on the same floor for 2 days and was looking forward to the same floor assignment again today because there is something to be said for continuity. To have the same patients everyday helps you to know them better as well as know when there is a change in their status. I was angry when I saw that I was being floated. Even though I have come to believe that it is God who chooses my assignment, I still get mad when it doesn't turn out the way "I" think it should. I am human. This is what happens to me. I accept that it takes me a bit to overcome my emotions and then be able to behave in a manner that I want to. It was a good day...................once I had acceptance. That is like most of life isn't it? To accept the things I cannot change. I have learned to not complain about my assignment. I cannot be given an assigned that the Lord does not know about. AS long as I am not practicing outside the scope of my practice as a nurse, then I want to have acceptance of that assignment. This has worked well for me on this journey we are on. The contrary is also true. If I fight for what "I" want, then I usually get screwed somehow.
I love my job. It truly is a pleasure to be a nurse. It has many things that are difficult but I do not have any desires to be anything nut a nurse right now. I feel like this was meant to be for my life. What a gift. Not many people can say they found something to do for a living that they are content with. I really enjoy caring for my patients. I feel like an instrument in the master's hand. What a feelin; to be used by the Creator to touch another persons life and ease their suffering. I am blessed. Thank you Lord.
Daniel

I RECEIVED A PIECE OF MAIL THE OTHER DAY FROM FORT MYERS FL. IT WAS SENT TO MY ADDRESS IN MASSACHUSETTS. IT WAS FORWARDED TO MY OLD ADDRESS LAST YEAR HERE IN FT. MYERS. THEN IT WAS FORWARDED TO MY OLD ADDRESS IN MARYLAND. FROM THERE IT WAS FORWARDED TO MY OLD ADDRESS IN VIRGINIA. FROM THERE IT WAS FORWARDED DIRECTLY TO ME AT MY CURRENT ADDRESS!! WHAT A MAIL SYSTEM EH? THIS WAS RATHER HILARIOUS. JUST WANTED TO WRITE THIS INCIDENT DOWN AND CHALK IT UP AS ANOTHER INCIDENT THAT CAN ONLY HAPPEN WHEN YOU ARE DOING WHAT WE ARE DOING. THANK GOD IT WASN'T AN IMPORTANT PIECE OF MAIL.........I JUST THREW IT AWAY! I ALMOST FELT LIKE I SHOULD HOLD ON TO IT FOR A WHILE EVEN THOUGH IT WAS TRASH. IT TRAVELED SO FAR TO GET INTO MY LITTLE HANDS! NEVERTHELESS, IT WAS MAIL THAT I NO LONGER NEEDED SO IT FOUND THE TRASH BIN ABOUT 30 SECONDS AFTER IT WAS OPENED. BOY, YOU COULD WRITE A STORY ABOUT THE LIFE OF THAT PIECE OF MAIL. IT HAD A LONG JOURNEY TO THE TRASH HEAP. I GUESS THAT COULD BE THE TITLE.
DAN

Here I am on my second night in a row 7p to 7a. It is a little better. I am not as tired but am still weary. It is a little more difficult to sleep during the day. It must be hard for the wife and kids to remain quiet so I can sleep. They do well. It is most difficult between 2 and 5am. I just think I am supposed to be sleeping!! There are some nice people on the night shift. Very friendly. I slept pretty good today until almost 2. I am looking forward to a couple of days off now. Then.... I do 3 nights in a row! Ouch! After that I will be back on days. I definitely prefer days. Nights has a different flavor to it that is good also. One of the things I have to consider is that I may have to do nights on future assignments. I pray the Lord prepare me for that if I need to. I'd rather do days but......It's in His hands. There is a new guy nurse on this shift that I've met. He has been working for only 6 months. More and more I run into new nurses. I forget that I am not new anymore. I have been around for almost 7 years! What a blessing! I can't believe it. God is so good..... All the time! I am a grateful man. The Lord has used this career to provide for me and my family. Thank you Jesus.
I'm done typin. I really didn't have much to say......So I thought I'd say it!

My nursing calendar had a list of favorite Christmas carols on the psychiatric ward. .........
The schizophrenic favorite tune?.........Do you hear what I hear!
I am working nights this week to help them out here in FL. While it's not really what I want to do, I felt led to be of service to them. I must follow the spirit as I feel led by it. AS time goes by, I get the sense of God's spirit more and more. I can also say that there are many times I haven't a clue what the Lord has in store for me. How can that be? Well, I know I need much more practice at listening to Gods still small voice. I've never heard an audible voice mind you, but the Lord has a way of making himself known. I do my best to listen; I just suck at it! Just kidding. Let's just say there is room for improvement.
It amazes me when I stop to think that I have been a practicing nurse since Feb. 1998. It seems like I just graduated. God has been good to us over the years. He has used my salary to take care of my entire family all these years. I thank God my wife has been able to be home with the children all the time. What a blessing. I am a grateful man. Grateful to God for making this happen. Grateful to Catherine for making the personal sacrifice of her own wants or desires to focus on only raising the children up to be Godly people. She could go in many different directions and try and do many things, but instead she has put her own wants aside for their betterment. She is the biggest example to me of God's loving hand upon my life. I never feel alone because I have a woman to trust and count on in life. I really feel like this is what God had in mind when it comes to the marriage relationship. Two people working as a team. Not my will, not her will, but God's will as number one in our lives. It's such a blessing. Thank you Lord.........
back to work. I'm exhausted! It's 3:30 in the morning! I am gonna dive under my covers when I get home in the morning.

I had a conversation a few weeks ago with a single mom about raising children. She had many questions for me because, she was explaining how her daughter is now 17. When she was 16 she realized that her daughter had a secret boyfriend and they were having sex. She told me of the clearly wonderful relationship she has with her daughter now and how they are very open about things and how her daughter knows her mom cares for her and is there for her. She has had to explain things very plainly to her about birth control methods. Her main concern is that she not get pregnant at a young age and ruin her life. My friend tells me she was 16 when she had her daughter. There was a guy there but they broke up amicably. The father is involved in the child's life but just not as her mom's husband.
I applaud this woman's efforts. She has done her best to raise her daughter with good morals and to work hard. She has done it without a man to help her. God bless her for doing the best she can with what she has.
Her questions to me were something like this;
"What will you do when your daughter comes to you and asks to go to a movie with a boy? Will you give them a ride? Don't you think peer pressure is going to win out over what the parents think?"
Good questions. I told her that I can't just give a quick answer to these questions. They involve so much explanation. It's a strange thing. Even though we both live in the same world, we are worlds apart in many ways. We have raised our children to believe that the Word of God is true. That you do not take what you want out of the word and fit it into YOUR way of looking at things and go from there. It's that you do your best to adjust MY own way of thinking to the way God sees things. We have prayed for them.......Every single day........That's right every day since even before they were born! There are not many things I do every day. I eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, not much else. So to pray for them daily is a big thing. I think this has had a big impact on who they are; bigger than Catherine and I even realize. We did not teach them ideas as much as the absolute truth about who they are, and who God is. Absolute truth. God is God, and you were created in His image. You are loved by Him not because of anything you do but simply because of who you are......His child. He has given us guidelines to live by. They are there to protect us from evil influences and any other overall harm that may come to us in life. Sex relations are a gift from God. He created sex and every incredibly awesome feeling that comes from it! It was HIS idea! He wants us to absolutely enjoy it. We forget that sometimes. We think sex is dirty somehow; it's not. The problems come when any person,(yes, this is an absolute truth and not just an opinion), anyone at all tries to engage in this activity outside of God's guidelines. We have taught our children this and they believe it.....Because it is an absolute truth given to us by our Creator.
So you see our philosophy is totally different about relationships than many other people. I teach my children about relationships. They are with us all the time so Catherine and I are of primary influence over them and not the school system, or their peers. I am glad for this. We learn together through books, some television, and many many conversations about human behavior and emotions and feelings. The discussions we have are endless. I love when we just sit and talk and talk and talk. The other point is that peer influence is something I am not naive to. That is why we feel it is worthy of our best efforts to limit and closely monitor the peers that my children spend their time with. It is our responsibility to protect and guide them until they can go out on their own; oh, and another thing we discovered, is the value of positive Peer influence. We see it as our duty as parents to raise these children to become productive members of society, but mostly to honor God in the things they do. Time will tell. We hope and pray that our children do not grow up and have 9 heads. It seems to me that my children have great personalities, and are extremely knowledgeable of their own humanness. This helps them understand others. This will also aide them in having a good future. It's just another area where we feel like pilgrims. Not many people are living life the way we are trying to. There are some but you have to search for them. This is one thing we are thankful for in this country. The right to raise our children as we think we should, and the right for you to raise your children as you think you should. That's enough for now. I'm rambling.
god bless.

We have made it to Florida..............................
WE just finished up on 3 months in Virginia and are about to embark on 5 plus months here on the gulf side of Florida. I'm at the same hospital as last time. We have different living quarters but they are very nice. I have many many feelings. It is always difficult to deal with my emotions in these situations. I will show up tomorrow where I was last year and will see many of the same people I worked with before. I enjoyed their company but still feel nervous about seeing them again. There are times I want to just curl up in bed and wait for my feelings to go away. It's called escaping reality. In general, I am loving traveling with my family. In many ways I see the benefits. I believe it is binding us together as a family unit. We are all in this together. We are on a journey through life. In some ways we feel like adventurers on a journey. WE are pilgrims going about the states and trying to see all we can in each place we go. Our country is full of so many incredible sites! It has its difficult times...like the moving part. This time however, we have improved in our ability to pack and go. The children are really good at getting packed up. We have downsized how much STUFF we have each time. It's amazing how much we can live without. The children end up being a power of example when it comes to downsizing. While this is a difficult path we are on, it is rewarding in many ways. We are all getting a hands on education about the world. What is education anyways? This is the question we have answered differently as time goes by. One thing it is not, is stagnant sitting at a desk listening to someone else tell us what they THINK it is. We are all getting an education. It's pretty humbling to see your children become smarter than you about certain things. If I didn't have the teachers manual, I wouldn't be nearly as far behind their understanding of math as I am now!!........or something like that.
Well, I ca see that I am all over the place in this post. I apologize. I hope to snap out of this funk in time to go to work tomorrow. It is a blessing to be with my family everyday and know they are pulling for me. The world continues on no matter what's going on in my life. It is my hope and prayer that we are following our Creator on the path He has laid out for us.

My wife and children are visiting Washington D.C. and my niece Lenoure. They are staying overnight. I am lonely just thinking of them not being home when I get out of work! At least the dog will be there. Poor me..... I am at work now with all my work done. I will be off for a few days with much packing to do! We are going back to Florida at the end of the month. I have enjoyed being here again. I was welcomed warmly by everyone. It has been nice to be here and challenging at the same time. I look forward to FL and also look forward to going across the country after that. This adventure we are on is very trying at times. I love doing this with my family and do think it is the right thing to do, but there are times...... For instance; if only we could up and go to each assignment and not have to do any of the packing, or cleaning, or driving.... that would be nice! I guess you have to take the good with the bad. I look forward to what's in store for us. Gotta go my wife's on the phone!!

I know that my way is the right way to see it!!.........................................
The ways in which a man and a woman can misunderstand each other is incredible. My wife and I were going out golfing the other day. It was rather nippy in the air at 8 in the morning here in VA. My wife suggested to me that perhaps I could wear my pullover that we got at a tournament we played in a few years back, " Then we would match!", she said with a grin. My reply was exactly what I think most men would say in this situation. "NO way!" She clearly felt that I was being nasty, so as I went back into the house, I slipped it on so that she would be pleased. I could tell she felt honored by my gesture... which is what I was trying to do. On the ride we discussed this issue. Here are the two completely differing opinions on the subject from a man and a woman.
I told her that to me, wearing a matching oufit shows the world that here is a man who is a pussy. He is pushed around by his wife, she wears the proverbial pants in that family! He can't make his own decisions, she even dresses him; like one of her children! I can hear people in the distance saying........poor guy; she's emasculated him. Here is where I layed it on thick and told her that though all these things are true, I was still willing to wear it because I love you and want to please you, even at the expense of my reputation as a man.
She then tells me that for me to be offended at the idea of wearing matching outfits is an insult to her! That contrary to what I was saying, it shows that I am a real man who is willing to identify with his woman and tell the world that we are one as a couple. A man who is not afraid of what others think. It makes her sad that I didn't want to wear a matching outfit. My unwillingness is a reflection somehow on how I feel about her. I got the sense that she was somewhat dumbfounded that I wasn't excited at the opportunity to be dressed up in similar garb.
It confuses me how wrong she can be about why I didn't want to wear the pullover. It equally confounds her why I don't "get it". I sometimes think I understand my wife, but situations like that one remind me that I have a lot to learn. Actually, I think I have officially given up on trying to understand the ways of a woman. I am resolved to just accept the fact that I will never understand. I'm OK with never "getting it". Men are different than women............THANK GOD!!

Why is it so difficult to take care of myself?
It has been so long since I have worked out to keep myself in shape. I feel I am so far from in shape that it is difficult to even do light workouts every other day! This is poor. I am not happy with this but it will not get any better unless I start somewhere. I was in such good shape when I was younger. I am not young anymore. I have been working out for a couple weeks now with my wife and it does feel good to feel my muscles again. However it is tough to not get discouraged easily. It's like a spiritual battle for my physical health! Some may say that I gotta just DO IT!! Well, I want to and we are just doing it despite our feelings of not wanting to. It just amazes me. I have incredible powers of self-deception. No one on earth made me eat too much food to get this big and out of shape. I did it to myself. I HATE THAT!! I would be lost at this point if my wife was not with me encouraging me to work out. She is in much better shape than I am. She has muscles. I have skin over some fatty tissue, attached to bone. OK it's not that bad. I can sense my self-pity coming through now. I just ask for others to pray for me to not quit and to just do it. There is a spirit of evil in the world and I am in daily battle against it. The Lord gives me victory daily in many areas, but I have remained fat. I do not want this. I find it hard to believe the Lord wants me out of shape. HE loves me more than I love myself. I thank God for getting me to work outs all these mornings. I guess if I just keep trusting in Him and humble myself, (by not listening to the self delusional thinking in the morning and just coming down to work out), then the weight will come off in His time and the muscle will build.....one day at a time.

When did protection become a bad thing??......................................
I was in the nurses lounge the other day, which consists of a table and chairs with a fridge. There were a group of 5-6 women nurses, aides, and our wonderful secretary Demetria; she affectionately (I hope), calls me Moos-olini!--instead of Mullaney. Well, they were discussing children. One nurse said something like,
" You have to be a fool these days to not get your daughters on the pill as soon as they have their period. You know they are gonna fool around as soon as they can".
I was kind of surprised to hear her say this. I was even more taken aback to hear all the women at the table nod in agreement saying," Shore- do, you don't ever lie! You got that right."
Then I made the mistake (probably), of opening my own pie hole and offering my unsolicited opinion. " I don't agree with that at all!"
Well, this was met with some more comments.
"Oh Dan, you don't think your girl is lookin for a boy? You don't know what she's doin all the time. She out there and when you turn your back, she say-- I'm goin out to play dad bye. Then she go around the corner and she be doin the wild thing with the boys in ther neighborhood!"
"I don't think my daughter would do that. I trust my girls".
"Oh, Dan.....you naive! I can't believe you think she's not lookin to do that."
Well, they went on and on of how I am just naive. It really bothered me to allow them to walk away thinking that I was wrong and they were right. I hate letting people think they are right when I really think they are wrong and I am right. It's humbling to say nothing and allow others to think what they think without me trying to straighten them out!! OK perhaps you can see that it is actually arrogant for me to think that I am right and they are wrong, or to even think that I can change their minds to see things my way instead of the way they see things. After this event, I had some more sober thinking about it, which generally happens when I can step away from a volatile situation long enough to think things through.
What was happening to me while I was in the conversation? Well, I was getting defensive, feeling threatened by their surety that I was naive and my daughters were practicing deciet against my wife and I. I had fear of their opinions of me at that moment because I was saying something different than them, and I was also practicing SOME restraint over my tongue because I could sense in some people's tone of voice that my opinion was foreign to their understanding of the situation and that this was not the place to lay my thoughts on the subject before them on the table--remember, they never asked me what I thought! Boy.....there was a LOT going on in my head huh? That's usually the case isn't it? We are usually thinking so many things at once that it's difficult to even remember what we were thinking sometimes. When I got home, I spoke with my wife and daughters about it all. Poor Grace was getting downright agitated at THOSE women and wanted to go down there and straighten them out!! (I don't know where she gets that attitude).
I'm glad I stopped talking. Things are different for me and my children. They are with their mother all day everyday. When your child is not with you all day, but is surrounded only by people of the exact same age as them, then there really is a threat to their purity. There is a proverb written thousands of years ago by King solomom that says, " The companion of fools suffers harm." While I do not believe children are fools, I think most people would agree that children do foolish things. There is another proverb that says, "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child." I don't really have a definitive point here, just that we think it is better for children to spend most of their time with adults who love them than with other children. People who know us, know that our children are very sociable. We allow them to play with other children but only when we feel it is a safe environment. We do our best anyway. We are not perfect, but we think that protecting them from poor influences is our job as their parents. Some say that this is unrealistic and will harm them in the long run because they will not learn how to deal with real life situations in the real world. I feel that people who claim this are unthinking. What is more real; living each day with different people around you of different ages all the time, being forced to interact and communicate daily with people of all ages,
or being forced to sit at a desk with people all the same age as you, day in and day out for twelve or more years! We do not protect our children from real life-----we thrust it upon them!
To protect our children from evil; this we see as an important job. The evidence is in the children themselves. What are my children like? Do they appear stunted because of all the protection we have been providing them? I don't think so. Using an extreme to make a point, you do not have to get addicted to crack to know that it is a bad thing to get addicted to crack. Likewise, my children do not have to engage in certain adolescent behavior that is harmful to them to know that it is harmful to them. The scriptures tell us to be innocent in the ways of evil. We do our best to accomplish this. I hope and pray that others are doing their best to keep their children pure too. I alway remember too, that our children never have to even leave the house to be surrounded by people who sin everyday. I love my children. We will continue to do our best to raise them up to be godly people, who will contribute to the betterment of society. I know my life is better because of their presence.

Back in Virginia...............
I feel like we never left. All those I once worked with have welcomed me back with open arms. Almost all the people I worked with before are still here. It is such a pleasure to work with Sharon, and Aris again. It's nice to already know what is expected of me and to be able to do it. I am looking forward to living in VB for the next 3 months. Our place is very nice; better than the last one. While it was nice to have a house in MD, I am glad we are not in a house this time. It is such a relief to not have a lawn, to not have so many rooms to keep clean, and I guess it just is easier to live in an apartment complex-style place. They have maintanence to help with any troubles you have. Speaking of troubles......apparently the movers did not install the washer correctly, and it had a leak in one of the pipes. We noticed it right away, but not before the damage was done. Maintenance called while I was at the home depot getting a hose to fix it, to inform us that water was gushing through the ceiling into the bathroom of the tennants below us. Isn't that a nice way to say....HOWDY neighbor!! They were nice about it, but we feel bad for them. It was completely the movers fault and we rectified their error. Unfortunately our neighbors will first remember us as the ones who flooded the bathroom and ruined the drywall as well. Oh well, there are some things out of our control. I hate that.
I am now typing a few weeks into our stay. I get away from typing at times. It has been interesting so far. Miss Diggs, whom I mentioned in much earlier blogs, is as funny as ever. If she's thinkin' it, she's sure gonna say it soon! And when she does, it sets us all to laughter. She is a very down to earth woman. She has a heart e as good as gold. I've already accumulated many stories to come home to the children with. I love telling them how the day has gone and we usually are laughing hysterically with each other almost every night! I want to be them all more than anybody else. What a blessing that is. My children are a pleasure to be with. There are many who do not echo that sentiment. Perhaps it's not for everyone; spending all the time you can with your family. The way I see it for me is, soon they will be gone and on their own. They are with us such a short time. Even if they remain with us till they're 20, it is a short time n the scheme of life. I look forward to seeing what God has in store for all of us. I am going to stop here because I want to write a different blog about some things that have happened this week at work............bye!

OK.......stress comes out in different people in different ways.....even when you all live in the same household! Today my wife made a delicious dinner for us all in the early afternoon. After we did most of our packing into the truck, we all sat down for a nice dinner. Well; the complaints were going around the table like a waterman after crabs. My potato is hard; do I have to eat broccoli?; Why didn't you make mashed? Which led to me asking others to please not have any complaints for the rest of the meal. This lasted.........until they opened their mouths again. It was beginning to now annoy my wife. Her voice raised up a couple of decibels, which for some reason my eldest daughter thinks she must raise her voice a couple of decibels also. I asked her to please lower her voice,( and you know I did it in a very controlled, gentle, and calm manner..........:)), she became very upset with herself, not realizing that she offered up a complaint after we had just discussed not complaining. The melee that followed was nothing short of comical. "You #$%@#*#...idiot!", she said. I'm glad that all she had in her hand at that moment was a half of a potato. Had it been something hard, I'm not sure I would be here today typing this thing! WELL!, what to do next, I thought. She loses her temper like this so rarely that it's difficult to not laugh. Yes she needs to be directed to a better way of expressing herself. Yes I was shocked as I was pulling potato out of my ear. Most of all I knew that, YES, she felt embarrassed or ashamed of losing her cool in such a way. She went outside. I could not really control the laughter as I looked next to me at my redheaded daughter eating her meal with pieces of potato in her hair. She seemed unfazed by the whole thing! Michael went after his sister to make sure she was OK. He came back and refused to say where she was but only that she was safe and did not know how she could possibly apologize for doing such a thing. To this, I informed him privately to go back to his sister and tell her that Mr. Potato head would like to speak with her. I know my daughter well enough to realize that this would bring a grin to her face. While she may make mistakes in life, (like all of us), it really doesn't take her long to humble herself and own up to her faults. She did return with Michael and came in the house with a humble spirit. At first I wasn't sure whether she came back to place a dollop of sourcream on the top of my head and sprinkle it with bacon bits, or to just apologize. She quickly took responsibility and admitted she had no idea why she threw it at me, "'Cause you didn't even do anything!" she said. I knew this....but it was nice to hear her say this too. My mother said something to me once that has always stayed with me. " If I could give you one thing Dan it would be the ability to see yourself as others see you; then you would know what a truly wonderful person you are". I still struggle with believing this. I do not however struggle with wanting to express this very same sentiment to each of my own children. Hmmmm......interesting.
This was some afternoon. I dare say I probably won't have another one quite like it. As I type, I have a moderate amount of confidence that these types of "messy" scenarios take place in most families out there. I take delight in knowing that I am loved just as I am by my wife and children. I want to foster the same kind of acceptance of one another between the children as well as they grow into adulthood. We are not the perfect family. We do love one another. The home is the place to learn to behave properly. It is our training ground. I love it!! I give each of my children permission to screw up daily. That is how we learn. Practice, practice, practice. For the most part we are loving the learning process. It is quite.............. the education!

Here we go again!........
WE are heading back to Virginia. I will be working at the same place I worked before. If you read my earlier posts you can learn a little about the people there. As we are about to leave Maryland, my wife commented that I haven't written much about my work here in MD. Well, I guess that says something right there! It has not been the best assignment ever. The hospital is in disrepair. They are currently working on the unit I am on so that means we only have 18 beds. This bodes well for our nurse to patient ratio. I DO like that! However everything is in such disarray that it is difficult to find things. They also have been floating me to other floors which makes it difficult because I can't find stuff on the other floors either because I've never been there! Enough complaining. The people here have been nice to me. I have been doing rotating shifts. Mostly days but some nights. I have rather enjoyed the night shifts here...... In moderation! I live about 25 miles from the hospital so it makes for a tough ride home. I almost fall asleep everytime! It is much more peaceful at night. The night staff are very laid back and I like that. The tough time is between 3 and 5am. Just stay awake is what I tell myself. I started working at the same time as 2 other travelers. One is Mary. This is her first travel assignment. If I may say so........ SHE IS KOOKOO!!! I mean that in the best way possible.... It seems like everything always happens to Mary. She is constantly facing crises with her patients. I believe the only thing all the different patients had in common ...............was Mary! I do my best to keep my distance as I could easily get sucked in to the negativity. The other one I started with was Sharlene. She seems like a nice woman. She is a jehovah's witness. I think she's new to their religion. My understanding of the scriptures comes from personal study for the past 19 years. I can say without a doubt that Jehovah's witnesses are not witnesses of the true God named Jehovah. I hate that they call themselves that because true believers are the ones who are a witness to God. Their beliefs are unscriptural to say the least. Anyways.... I had quite the discussion with her the other night that caused her to pull out her own bible that was printed by the watchtower society. I hope that the things I said will cause her to read the bible honestly, and hopefully come to know our one true creator in heaven. As far as the other people I work with, they all seem nice but perhaps I have just not allowed myself to get too close with anyone? I'm not sure why. I do enjoy kibbitsing with Brian and Bridget. They are the heart monitor techs. Brians last name is jones and bridget's is smith. I keep tellin them to get married and then she could write Bridget Jones diary! To which she tells me with that southern drawl, "Dan....you craaazy". Brian is a young 19 year old full of life. He can't drive right now because he has a bazillion speeding tickets. I look at him and forget that I am so old, I could be his father!! I still think I am a young guy. I just turned 41!! That is scary. I remember being 19. It was a few months back! Well, I think I'll stop writing for now.

On a more personal note; I got a birthday card from my sister the other day. I was lying in my bed relaxing, not really thinking about much as I do many times. I opened it, and must tell you that it brought tears to my eyes. It was such a blessing to read the sweet words she had to say to me. I love that woman!! She reminds me so much of our mother. She has a big heart. Her hubby is one blessed man. Thank you shosh!

I haven't had any coffee all day today.  I have a raging headache!!  This will pass I guess.   I don't like the feeling.  I took some tylenol but it hasn't touched the headache.   To top it off, I have to stay up all night at work.  This is difficult.  Catherine and I are both taking a break from caffeine.  I hate this!  However, it is something I am volunteering to do.  I don't have to do it.  I am choosing to do this.  AHHHHH!!!!!  My head!  Well, I must remember that it does get better.  When I did this before it only gave me a headache for a day or so.  I am almost done with the hard part.  Maybe I could have a cup of coffee to celebrate!  I must admit, I drink coffee for effect and not for taste.  I enjoy water much more, but the coffee gets me goin so to speak.  It gives me energy.  How is that different than when I used to do "other things" to keep me going?   I don't really see the difference.  Maybe because it's easily accesible and a socially acceptable thing to do?  I know I don't want to HAVE to have something to get through the day.  I am at that point with coffee, so I am glad we are doing this...... even though I don't like it.  Sometimes I have to do what I don't want to do, in order to get the desired results I always wanted.  My desired results?  To not be a slave in any way to anything.   I think it will also help me to exersise, and eat good foods.  I enjoy healthy foods, so I don't know why I struggle so with eating right.  I have made myself far heavier than I should be.  No one has done this to me but me.  I am  not pleased to be so overweight.  I need to take better care of myself.  I miss being active as I was when I was younger.   I have a wife who is willing to become more active.  Help me lord to do what needs to be done.   In many ways, I feel so weak.  I am weak but he is strong right?  I'd like to type that I will lose 50 pounds by the end of the year, but I have such little confidence in my ability to come through on such a promise.  Lord direct my thinking.  Change my heart so that I can see things more clearly.  You have made me able to live properly and to be able to enjoy life.    I want to do this.  Show me the way, and please give me the willingness to follow your way.     

We have another visitor with us this week. It is a pleasure for my family when we can have certain extended family members visit us on our journey. Joan is here with us this week; Catherine's mom. They went on a skipjack yesterday. She is an interesting woman. I think she was probably quite the risk taker when she was younger. I see where my wife gets her free spirit.
We are not sure yet where we are going next. It may be to Virginia again. I called the place I worked at before and they may be interested in me coming for a short term stay; maybe 13 weeks. We want to go someplace on this coast as we are definitely going to Florida again this winter. Plan your vacations now! Let us know when you want to visit. I sort of wish we were going right to Florida from here because the golf would be soooo cheap! Then we could just not play during peak season. I don't care if it's hot. It would be kind of nice to be at the same place from september to may. Or would it? I'm not sure. Well, the one thing we know is that we don't know where we are going. We're getting used to that.
It has been at times difficult to be here in Maryland. I think it's because we are such Bostonians deep down and don't know how to slow down. A part of me really likes the slower pace. I want the slower pace. Another part just keeps saying hurry up! I believe the Lord is doing some good things for my children here. Grace in particular has been really challenged. It's a few months of solace for her. She has met it like a mature person, and I am grateful she can speak to us about the struggles she is having. She is truly a blessing to our whole family. I personally think she's wicked smahht! I ask God to help me listen to her wisdom. I also ask for God to give me patience in dealing with a young adult who thinks she knows everything!! I guess it's true; it's hard to be humble when you're so awesome. This is the case with Grace. She is being run through the fire here in MD. Forced to sit with herself. I hope she comes to the same conclusions that her mother and I have; that she is a wonderful young adult entering gracefully into womanhood. I just hope she has the humilty to see it. WEll I gotta go now. I am tired. It's 4:15 in the morning . Nightshift can get very slow. All my patients are doing well but I must go check on them now.

Annapolis Maryland. I had never been there before. I was impressed with its looks. It was so different. The buildings were all so close together. The doors to peoples' house right there on the street! It reminded me somewhat of parts of Boston. We went to the Kunta Kinte exhibit that is located at the dock where they supposedly brought him in off the boat! When we were leaving, I looked back down the street and it reminded me of the film roots and the way it must have looked back then. I would describe it as a very picturesque place. I think we will visit there again before leaving. The thought didn't escape me that these are fleeting moments with our children. I am grateful to be here with them to enjoy these times. My children; while they can frustrate the heck out of me at times, they are truly a blessing. The day started out pretty wild as we went into the bank to do some banking. Mike wanted to stay in the car. OK I said. Just keep all the doors locked and don't come up front for any reason and we will be right back. Well, can you JUST GUESS what happened. About 6-7 minutes later, in walks Michael. "Hey you guys, I have to go to the bathroom."
"Do you have the keys?"
"No."
"Did you lock the car?"
When I think of how his face looked when asked this question, I can't help but laugh. We weren't laughing at that moment though. He was so frustrated with himself, he grabbed his own head in obvious agitation. Upon further investigation, the tailgate was open and we got in no problem.....phew!! And Michael got to go to the bathroom....pew!
just kidding.
Well then we hit the road for Annapolis. It took a couple of hours. When we got there, we stood at the side of the state house which was one of our destinations. Left or right? I chose right. We arrived at a big door which was locked. As we got there, a torrential downpour started. Michel and Katie were delighted cause they could now get completely soaked! ME? I had memories of my mother running through my head as I nastily said things like," Don't you dare get wet! Why did you do that? Now they won't let us in. We're gonna try and go in and they wont let YOU in!....'cause you're soaked." When did I get old? Regardless of my protestations, Michael and Katie were pretty much thoroughly soaked as we learned we were at a locked back entrance to the statehouse and could not go to the front because it was pouring out! As the rain let up we ran around to the "correct" side, and they even let Michael in as wet as he was. While there, I charged my cell phone in the MD state house foyer because my battery was low. This is the oldest state house still in operation in the country.....I did not know that. There were many interesting exhibits. I'm glad we went. I had fun. We had a wonderful dinner and then went to a souvenir shop or as my wife calls them, "the silva-neer shop. Sometimes we're suckers for these places. Be on the lookout... you may get one.
On the ride home we had many interesting discussions. One thing I can say about my children; they know how to have fun. We started talking about presidents and someone spoke of how Ronald Reagan won 43 states when he ran for president. As we sat in awe thinking of how anyone could win by such a large margin, Katie chimed in," That's pretty pathetic for the OTHER guy!" I personally had a hard time stopping my laughter. It was one of those times when tears start filling your eyes and you wish you could stop laughing because it hurts? It's funny, but that's what I'll remember about the trip to Annapolis most of all; the talks with the children in the car, and at dinner.
Well, we got home just in time to a dog with her legs crossed! She was so excited to see us but it was tempered by her intense need to relieve herself!
So, that was our trip to Annapolis. It was fun and educational. Most of our life is FULL of fun and education, woven together on this journey. We hope the children get a great education from the places we visit. So far it seems to be working.
who needs a desk?

Stay-free ultra-thin, regular with wings!!
What the heck does that have to do with anything?? Well, let me tell ya! I must remember this little mantra that I have created. Stayfree ultra-thin regular with wings. When you repeat it over and over it can be put to a catchy tune. It helped me remember that this is something I must remember for the benefit of all the girls in my household. There was a time I'd probably be too self-conscious to buy these in a store. Now I walk up and down the aisle on this particular day because I am so tired that I don't want to forget. Stayfree ultra-thin regular with wings. Stayfree ultra-thin regular with wings. Stayfree ultra-thin regular with wings! See! I didn't forget! My wife and children are very pleased with my memorization skills. But seriously; it's a good thing to take the time to know what it is they need. There are so many kinds!! A man could get lost! What the heck do they need wings for anyway?? Wings? Come on now. This type of discussion is just so...... unmacho! How do you talk about stayfree ultra-thin regular with wings in a manly kinda way? You just can't say that cool. It reminds me of when the children were still just babes and my wife would have me hold the diaper bag while she did something in a store. Did you ever try and look cool or manly holding a flowery diaper bag!! That is no small feat let me tell you! Or how manly and macho do you think I felt wearing a bunny suit to a Halloween party with my little girl? If you walk just right though you can still seem like a tough guy even in a bunny suit....or so I like to fool myself into thinking. But honestly these are the kinds of things you don't think about before having kids. I am glad to remember what they need at the store because I tell you I have bought the wrong thing more than once. If they have no wings.......forgetabout it! Go back and get the other ones; the ones with the wings! I say all this tongue in cheek because I would never have it any other way. I love my daughters and my wife. It's taken me a while to remember what kind to get but now I got it. In fact, I have to put it in my palm pilot so I can never forget it. Here I have been working hard and buying things for my wife and kids when all I had to do was remember Stayfree ultra-thin regular with wings and they would all think I was a great husband and father because I knew what they needed.
These are the things we talk about at my house; and we laugh and laugh about it all. It is such a pleasure to be a part of my family. My children have a wonderful sense of humor. They make me laugh. Just last night we all were lying in my bed before I came to work for this night shift and were just enjoying each others' company. There is no place I would rather be than with my wife and children. That is a blessing. It seems I run into many men who do their best to get away from the family to have some time alone. It doesn't make sense to me. It's the best place for a husband and father to be. The children will be with us only a short 10 to 20 years and then they will be on their own. It is worth it to spend all the time I can with them now before they move on.... as they should, into the rest of their lives. I am so grateful for all the time I get to spend with them. It will be over too soon. Soon we will wish we could hear them yelling around the house. We will wish there were legos left on the floor to step on in the middle of the night;(boy do they hurt!). I am going to do my best to enjoy it all because you only live once and I want to enjoy them while they are with me. Soon I will have my wife to myself again. We have never lost focus that it is us raising them. And when we are done, then we will have each other back again completely. She is my best friend and I look forward to that day coming. But I will cherish the time I have with all the children because time flies by. I keep telling people I just turned forty, and the fact of the matter is that I turn 41 next month! I leave you with these words of wisdom: Stayfree ultra-thin regular with wings!