Why is it so difficult to take care of myself?
It has been so long since I have worked out to keep myself in shape. I feel I am so far from in shape that it is difficult to even do light workouts every other day! This is poor. I am not happy with this but it will not get any better unless I start somewhere. I was in such good shape when I was younger. I am not young anymore. I have been working out for a couple weeks now with my wife and it does feel good to feel my muscles again. However it is tough to not get discouraged easily. It's like a spiritual battle for my physical health! Some may say that I gotta just DO IT!! Well, I want to and we are just doing it despite our feelings of not wanting to. It just amazes me. I have incredible powers of self-deception. No one on earth made me eat too much food to get this big and out of shape. I did it to myself. I HATE THAT!! I would be lost at this point if my wife was not with me encouraging me to work out. She is in much better shape than I am. She has muscles. I have skin over some fatty tissue, attached to bone. OK it's not that bad. I can sense my self-pity coming through now. I just ask for others to pray for me to not quit and to just do it. There is a spirit of evil in the world and I am in daily battle against it. The Lord gives me victory daily in many areas, but I have remained fat. I do not want this. I find it hard to believe the Lord wants me out of shape. HE loves me more than I love myself. I thank God for getting me to work outs all these mornings. I guess if I just keep trusting in Him and humble myself, (by not listening to the self delusional thinking in the morning and just coming down to work out), then the weight will come off in His time and the muscle will build.....one day at a time.