OK.......stress comes out in different people in different ways.....even when you all live in the same household! Today my wife made a delicious dinner for us all in the early afternoon. After we did most of our packing into the truck, we all sat down for a nice dinner. Well; the complaints were going around the table like a waterman after crabs. My potato is hard; do I have to eat broccoli?; Why didn't you make mashed? Which led to me asking others to please not have any complaints for the rest of the meal. This lasted.........until they opened their mouths again. It was beginning to now annoy my wife. Her voice raised up a couple of decibels, which for some reason my eldest daughter thinks she must raise her voice a couple of decibels also. I asked her to please lower her voice,( and you know I did it in a very controlled, gentle, and calm manner..........:)), she became very upset with herself, not realizing that she offered up a complaint after we had just discussed not complaining. The melee that followed was nothing short of comical. "You #$%@#*#...idiot!", she said. I'm glad that all she had in her hand at that moment was a half of a potato. Had it been something hard, I'm not sure I would be here today typing this thing! WELL!, what to do next, I thought. She loses her temper like this so rarely that it's difficult to not laugh. Yes she needs to be directed to a better way of expressing herself. Yes I was shocked as I was pulling potato out of my ear. Most of all I knew that, YES, she felt embarrassed or ashamed of losing her cool in such a way. She went outside. I could not really control the laughter as I looked next to me at my redheaded daughter eating her meal with pieces of potato in her hair. She seemed unfazed by the whole thing! Michael went after his sister to make sure she was OK. He came back and refused to say where she was but only that she was safe and did not know how she could possibly apologize for doing such a thing. To this, I informed him privately to go back to his sister and tell her that Mr. Potato head would like to speak with her. I know my daughter well enough to realize that this would bring a grin to her face. While she may make mistakes in life, (like all of us), it really doesn't take her long to humble herself and own up to her faults. She did return with Michael and came in the house with a humble spirit. At first I wasn't sure whether she came back to place a dollop of sourcream on the top of my head and sprinkle it with bacon bits, or to just apologize. She quickly took responsibility and admitted she had no idea why she threw it at me, "'Cause you didn't even do anything!" she said. I knew this....but it was nice to hear her say this too. My mother said something to me once that has always stayed with me. " If I could give you one thing Dan it would be the ability to see yourself as others see you; then you would know what a truly wonderful person you are". I still struggle with believing this. I do not however struggle with wanting to express this very same sentiment to each of my own children. Hmmmm......interesting.
This was some afternoon. I dare say I probably won't have another one quite like it. As I type, I have a moderate amount of confidence that these types of "messy" scenarios take place in most families out there. I take delight in knowing that I am loved just as I am by my wife and children. I want to foster the same kind of acceptance of one another between the children as well as they grow into adulthood. We are not the perfect family. We do love one another. The home is the place to learn to behave properly. It is our training ground. I love it!! I give each of my children permission to screw up daily. That is how we learn. Practice, practice, practice. For the most part we are loving the learning process. It is quite.............. the education!