I haven't had any coffee all day today.  I have a raging headache!!  This will pass I guess.   I don't like the feeling.  I took some tylenol but it hasn't touched the headache.   To top it off, I have to stay up all night at work.  This is difficult.  Catherine and I are both taking a break from caffeine.  I hate this!  However, it is something I am volunteering to do.  I don't have to do it.  I am choosing to do this.  AHHHHH!!!!!  My head!  Well, I must remember that it does get better.  When I did this before it only gave me a headache for a day or so.  I am almost done with the hard part.  Maybe I could have a cup of coffee to celebrate!  I must admit, I drink coffee for effect and not for taste.  I enjoy water much more, but the coffee gets me goin so to speak.  It gives me energy.  How is that different than when I used to do "other things" to keep me going?   I don't really see the difference.  Maybe because it's easily accesible and a socially acceptable thing to do?  I know I don't want to HAVE to have something to get through the day.  I am at that point with coffee, so I am glad we are doing this...... even though I don't like it.  Sometimes I have to do what I don't want to do, in order to get the desired results I always wanted.  My desired results?  To not be a slave in any way to anything.   I think it will also help me to exersise, and eat good foods.  I enjoy healthy foods, so I don't know why I struggle so with eating right.  I have made myself far heavier than I should be.  No one has done this to me but me.  I am  not pleased to be so overweight.  I need to take better care of myself.  I miss being active as I was when I was younger.   I have a wife who is willing to become more active.  Help me lord to do what needs to be done.   In many ways, I feel so weak.  I am weak but he is strong right?  I'd like to type that I will lose 50 pounds by the end of the year, but I have such little confidence in my ability to come through on such a promise.  Lord direct my thinking.  Change my heart so that I can see things more clearly.  You have made me able to live properly and to be able to enjoy life.    I want to do this.  Show me the way, and please give me the willingness to follow your way.