I wake up this morning and find it difficult to get out of bed. I lay here and let my thoughts run on and on. I realize that I have been wrong. I have made a major mistake! I have raised my children to think that this life is not true life. That there is another world that they belong to. That they are aliens on this earth. That they do not belong here on earth. What am I crazy!! I have trained them to live their lives for another man. To do everything for this other man and not for themselves! I have told them that thinking of yourself first is natural, but it will only lead to unhappiness if followed through on. In other words, that if you watch out for yourself, it will breed misery and futility. What am I doing! Why did I do that! What proof do I have that there is a God? How could I have instructed and trained them that doing all things for the Glory of God is more important than making sure YOU are taken care of by others and that YOU make sure you put yourself first! Shouldn't I have spent my time training them to watch out for others and to protect yourself from others? I taught them...foolishly, that they need not be worried about their life. That the God who clothes the grass of the fields and feeds the birds of the air will physically take care of them as well. How do I know that? Am I not being irresponsible to tell them that God will take care of them? That if they do their best to follow after Him and do His will then all the other things in life will be given to them as well? What kind of nonsense am I feeding them? Just how does it make sense to not be concerned for getting your physical needs met in this life?
Is it too late? Can I retrain them? How can I do it! Perhaps I can tell them it was all a lie. Someone wrote the Bible all those years ago and it's a big scam to control the masses. Perhaps they will understand, and then they will start to go after the things that matter like security, wealth, the esteem of others, a good job, a place in the community. They can learn how to be respected by the people in this world. To do things to please themselves. That they are responsible for getting all they can out of life. To put yourself first before anybody else.
Perhaps it's not too late for them to get what everyone else in the world wants.....Happiness! After all, it's very important to be happy. As long as your happy.... that's what matters right? Isn't that what we are to strive for? Happiness is what we want right? Well how can getting what you want Not make you happy? This world is filled with many people who got everything they wanted and then some and yet they are not happy. I don't get it! If I had what some of them had, I'm sure I would be happy! Why don't they wake up and realize that they have it all and SHOULD be happy! Here I am striving for what they have and they seem discontent! They just don't get it. I would get it if I had what they have.
Get a good job that pays good money. Try and buy a house because it goes up in value and is a good investment. Put money away and save for a later time because you may need it. Fill the house with whatever makes you "happy". These are the things to live for; aren't they? It seems like they are. It's what everyone seems to like having. What's wrong with me? I don't really care if I have those things. I have been living all over the states for almost five years and own very little, yet I have been able to stay in very nice places everywhere I go. I haven't owned these places, but I've been able to enjoy them while I was there. I've never been without a place to live and yet.......and yet I think at times that if I had this, that, or the other thing...then I'd be happy!
The lyrics of a switchfoot song run through my mind; "Nothing is ok, till the world caves in, till the world caves in, till the world caves in...................time to get out of bed..................and on my knees.