I saw this man in the hall. He had a tube coming out of his skull on the right side of his head. It was surrounded by a half moon sized scar with fresh staples in it. I saw him quite a few times that day. I wondered who he was, and what the story was that brought him to this place. He wasn't my patient so the thought never went further than that; just a thought. The next day he was my patient. He had a growth on his brain and they did not know what it was. They went in and removed it successfully. He is 29 years old. He looks like a strong young man and seems to always have a smile on despite this tube protruding from the side of his head. We didn't talk much that day. I simply took care of him.His wife was always right there with him whenever I came into the room. They were hoping to be discharged soon and sure enough they would be. The next day before he left, he had the tube removed from his head and was looking much better. One thing that I remember as I look back, was that a man came in and prayed for him. I think it was the pastor of his church.
About a week later, I'm walking down the hall and there is the same young man who shoots me a smile like he was running into an old friend. I smiled back and shook his hand enthusiastically. He once again had a drain in his head. He informed me that he had developed an infection in the incision. They had to go back in and drain it out. Later I saw the doctor and asked him about "my friend". He told me that he had a really bad infection and they drained a large amount of fluid from inside his head that was building up and causing severe pain. The next day, he was my patient! The charge nurse on nights tries to give the nurses the same patients each day if possible. Sometimes it's not. I was glad to have him.
As I entered his room and began to hook up some IV antibiotics to his line, I casually mentioned to him, "So, are you a Christian man?" He seemed taken aback a little at the question. I explained to him how I heard the pastor last time he was here praying for him and assumed he was Christian. He told me he is a youth pastor at his church and yes he is a Christian. If it is possible, this made his smile even brighter. He started to share with me some of his thoughts about this situation that has drastically changed his life. "I have a good friend at my church and we talk all the time about things. He shares his testimony in church and with people about how he used to be in the drug/sex scene and live a crazy life. He talks about how God has pulled him out of all of these things. I used to say to God, 'I don't have a testimony. God I want to have a testimony for you too'. He went on to tell me how when he was young he remembers his mother making him go to church every Sunday and many other church events as well. How he was forced to go with her all those years and he did what he was told and eventually he understood what a true Christian was. "I never got into any of those things that my friend did so as a youth pastor sometimes I wish I had a testimony for the children so that I could warn them to stay away from that stuff and they would listen to me. I sometimes would be crying out to God 'I want a testimony'. And Now I think that this is part of why this is happening to me. I think God has given me a testimony now. My life was threatened with this thing in my head. So I think that maybe God is giving me a testimony now. This has been such a test of my faith". He paused and was doing his best to hold himself together because clearly this has been an emotional experience to him and he finds it difficult to put into words. "God has done something for me in this.......I think if I explain it to you, then it won't mean as much to you as it does to me.....It's hard to put it into words.... He has given me a testimony". He was tongue tied. I felt as if I knew what he was talking about. I began to speak.....mind you I had mostly been listening up to this point. This is a life skill that is sorely lacking in todays world. In nursing we actually call it 'active listening'. I love that phrase. It's self explanatory. I began, " Let me just say that I believe you have a testimony. I don't mean the one you are saying you now have. I mean the one you actually have already. Do you know how many people there are in the church who need to hear someone like you who has been saved from ever having to partake of the evils involved with premarital sex, drugs, and all the other so-called "big" sins! Your testimony is a strong one! God has saved you from so much. We like to hear the big redemption stories of how God pulled us out of this or that mess, but I believe you have a strong testimony especially for the young people in your church. Most likely there are more kids in your youth group who haven't gotten tangled up in that stuff yet. You can encourage them to stay safe. Let God keep you from all the pain and suffering that those types of sins can cause. Tell them the truth. That because of HIM, you have never had to experience the pain and loneliness of being addicted to drugs, or alcohol, or sex. That the Lord has kept you safe. That your wife got to marry a man who has been kept pure by our Creator. That is a HUGE testimony to those kids. I can't remember everything I said but it went something like that. He listened to me wide-eyed as if scales were falling from his eyes. He saw the truth...he already had a testimony. We talked some more, and then we realized something else. Our precious Savior did help him see that he already has a testimony, but our Lord is always at work and He gives us the desires of our heart. While in his mind he was thinking he needed a testimony for the kids, the Father knew that this young man needed a testimony.......between himself and God. Now he saw....he already had a testimony for the youth group, now he has one that he himself cannot deny. God has made himself real to him through this injury in a way that he will never forget. Its significance and meaning may be expressed to others in the future, but it will never mean to anyone else what it means to him. His tears over the gratitude he was filled with overwhelmed me also. We prayed together right there in his room. His mother sat over in the corner while this was going on. All I heard from her was the occasional, "Yes Lord". Now she was thanking Jesus as my brother and I held hands and prayed to our precious redeemer together.
Why am I a nurse? If you have to ask, then I'm surprised you read this far. There is no greater joy than to be a vessel in the hand of the Creator. I have been blessed by this encounter. Thank you Lord.