I didn't know what to say.....Through a series of conversations with a co-worker, she stared at me with her mouth open in what looked like shock. She proceeded to tell me that my Christianity was all over me! "It's in everything you do! Just look at your life! You really live out your faith!! Your kids are really Christian and you can't fool kids, they can see right through a fake Christian easily. They know if you're real or not!!" I'm using explanation points to emphasize that she was speaking to me as if it was an amazing thing that I walk the walk that I talk. Like I was saying.... I didn't know what to say. Quite frankly I was surprised at her surprised-ness? I'm a little confused actually. Just what kind of "Christians" is she used to seeing? Do I stick out like a sore thumb? Am I that radically different? I think that somehow God was using me to say something to her about her own life; of which I haven't a clue. I get the feeling from her that she knows what a Christian is as she went to a Christian College many years ago and verbalized an understanding of it to me before. Were her parents hypocritical believers who didn't live out their faith? Is she not living out her faith? Has she grown complacent? In the two days that these events took place, I noticed her tearing up more than once. Why? I have no idea....but God does. I began to suspect that He is using me in her life; how, I don't know. It is enough for me to know that HE is using me. I want Him to use me whatever way HE wants to help my brothers and sisters to renew their faith in HIS faithfulness. I must tell you, that I do not believe that I am anything special. I am just one of many of HIS children. I am nothing; He is everything. I know this to be true in a very real sense. I am glad that I have been able to be an encouragement to her. We all need encouragement.
A few days later, I had a conversation with my wife about it. A totally new spin took place. It came about as I spoke with her, that I want approval from others that I am doing the right thing. That I am on the right path and that everyone in my life that may have even thought I was crazy for home-educating, or travelling, or anything else, will come grovelling to me and telling me that "You were right Dan. You did the right thing. I should have listened to you! Oh whoa is me!"
Sound egotistical? Yea, I think so too. But I can't deny that those thoughts run through me. As I talked with my wife, I began to see that it is Gods' approval that I need. Not only that, but I will never get the approval from man that I seek. Perhaps this woman at work was saying these things to me because God was having her do so? Maybe her words were an encouragement from HIM? After all, she doesn't really know me. We only met a few months ago and I only occasionally work on the same floor as her. However she was saying things to me that were extremely encouraging. She was saying things that I WANT to be true about me. That I'm really living my faith, that I'm not fake, that my walk with God is real. Now I'm not trying to say that I know with certainty that it is actually God telling me to keep on the right path and use her words as an encouragement from HIM, but I am entertaining that thought. God is a God of encouragement. He is so good to me, that I find it easy to believe HE would be that involved in my life to do something just like that. For now, I think I will allow that thought to remain in my brain.
Help me Lord to seek you in all I do and remember to always point people to YOU and YOU alone. You are the giver of true life. You help us overcome our fears, doubts, worries. Thank you Lord Jesus for giving me a new life and renewing my strength daily. You are so good to me.