Somewhere in America on an empty ballfield in the early 1970’s……………….

“Dad!! It’s gettin’ wicked dark! I can’t even see the ball anymore! Can we go home now?”
“Yeah, OK let’s go guys!” dad would yell to the three lanky boys. One of them is at the backstop/homeplate afraid he’s gonna get hit by a pitch from dad ‘cause he can barely see the ball anymore, and two in the field who get a little nervous when they hear the ball hit the bat……for the same reason. They’ve been at this for an hour or two now and all three of them are exhausted from chasin’ endless hits from one another as well as hitting endless pitches from dad. They all pile in the car and go home. No doubt there are more than a few lost baseballs scattered over the outfield this time. It just got too dark for the boys to find them. I was one of those three lanky boys. It strikes me as funny that we would complain about “playing” too much. Now that I’m a dad, I wonder where he got the time.
Cat Stevens wrote a now famous song around those times called, “The Cats in the Cradle”. It tells the story of a father who is too busy to spend time with his children. He is too busy doing what he considers important. Unfortunately, he forgets to spend time with his son. The neglect of the son does not change the fact that the son exclaims with great pride as his father walks away, “I’m gonna be like HIM, ya know I wanna be like HIM”. The song ends many years later as the dad tells the son, quote, “I’d like to see you if you don’t mind.” To which the sons piercing reply is, “I’d love to dad if I can find the time”. When listening to the song, all fathers’ hearts ache with the closing realization: “As I hung up the phone it occurred to me, he’s grown up just like me…..my boy is just like me……..”
The longer I am a parent, the more my opinion of him improves. As I experience the struggles and pulls on my time and energy daily, my respect for him grows. You see, I always saw my parents as “my parents”. They did not have personal lives. They existed because I existed and needed someone to grow me up. That may sound silly, but it has some validity in my mind. Clearly this is childish thinking. However, childish thinking can permeate the way we see things. I may be a grown up on the outside, but there are times I feel like a little kid again.
Now I am the parent. I am responsible for the upbringing of my family. There are times when I am riddled with feelings of inadequacy. My lack of direction in my own life is nerve racking. I am unable to even have order in my own personal affairs at times. I struggle with even taking care of myself physically! I don’t exercise as much as I should, I don’t even eat right! I can be lazy at times at work and home. I do not feel up to the task. I wonder…………….. Did my father have these feelings? I do not have to be some kind of “good person” to forgive my father and have mercy on him for all his faults, and all the things he didn’t do for me when I was growing up. He is guilty of being a human being. By definition that means he has faults. Outside of the Lord Jesus himself, I haven’t met a man who has no shortcomings. Everyone who meets my dad likes him. He is a likeable guy! He has many good qualities. He has seven grown children out in the world on their own doing the best we all can now. He made that possible together with my mom. He’s done the best he can with what he had. Can I be critical about the way he raised us? Sure I can. The difference is I no longer want to be. I want to look at the blessings instead. I am a blessed man. My father has played a role in me becoming who I am. I am grateful for him being there for me when I needed him most.

Somewhere else in America year-2006…………………
“You guys simply cannot beat me.”
“Yeah sure dad…..we beat you before!” says one of my three teenagers as we finish a board game at the dining table. We’ve been playing games all afternoon. A familiar song comes on the CD player,
“A child arrived just the other day, he came to the world in the usual way, but there were planes to catch, and bills to pay, he learned to walk while I was away…………………..” Everyone knows the words and they are singing along or mouthing the words…..it’s a classic. I grab my son as he is walking by and playfully say to him with a hint of concern in my voice, “I hope I’m not like the dad in this song. Mike, is this song true for you?”
“No of course it isn’t dad”. Says Michael…………”Well it is true that I wanna be like you!”……………………………………… As he said that I thought about my dad. Just then it occurred to me, “My boy is just like me, my boy is just like me”……………………………