I graduated nursing school in Wellesley Massachussetts at the local state college there in 1997. The last semester of school, I took my first test and got a 58! I was a nervous wreck. I think it was fear. Fear of success? Or perhaps it was that I thought (subconciously), that if I don't try my best then I can always say, "well I didn't try my hardest". However if I did do my absolute best and didn't graduate, then I would somehow be the biggest failure of a person known to the world! I was so amazed at Gods ability to get me through it all. I remember using the failure on that test as a motivation. I was face to face with the decision. Do I let fear run my life, or do I grab hold of my Creators hand and trust Him to give me the wisdom and strength to succeed? I am here today to tell you that He is truly faithful. There is an old saying that opportunity comes disguised as hard work. I think this is true. I am not full of cockiness that I did what needed to be done because I am strong. When I say I succeeded in reaching my goal, it means I humbled myself. I got on my knees and told God that there was no way for me to make it through without His help and guidance; that I was destined for failure and allowing FEAR to run my life unless He would direct my thinking right then and there. I am strong.....only in HIM. I studied like I had never studied before. God provided me with a christian brother who was willing to get together with me each week; who was also in my classes with me! WE learned together and made it through. When I follow HIM and listen to my God, He gives clear direction. My problem is........i don't listen sometimes. I'll never forget the final exam. I had done so well on my other tests that I shocked myself! As everyone does taking the finals, I figured out that I needed to get at least a 70 or something like that to finish with a passing grade. Before the exam, I prayed Lord please clear my mind of all the distractions that satan tries to give me. Please remove my fear, worry, and anxiety that I can be clear minded. I ask not that you give me the answers, (although that would be nice), but that you help me maximize my ability to pull up the information that we learned in our studies. Well, HE did just that. The test was not easy but I felt very relaxed and at peace with the whole thing. I got in the 80's somewhere and completed this journey that we as a family had been on for close to 5 years! It was not a feeling of pumping my fist in the air at my own accomplishment but of gratitude to my Creator for seeing us through all of this. When I started this quest to become a nurse it seemed so far away to even think of graduating. Now it was upon me! I was pleased to just get my diploma in the mail. Well, my wife was very interested in me going to the formal graduation. I wasn't up for it. We had a pinning night for all the nurses in the auditorium AND a graduation day. THAT....was not for me! I didn't want to congratulate myself with a public display................or was I just afraid of being recognised in public for my achievement?....hmmm. Whatever it was, my wifes' statements got me to do it. "This is not for you Dan. This is for me and the children, and your father and family to be able to come see you graduate!" OH! I didn't even think of others. Sometimes, I can continue to be so self-centered. Thank God I did it because my wife said those things to me. My brother Billy and my dad came to the pinning. My wife says she saw both of them with tears in their eyes as I was pinned. I would have robbed my brother of his emotions that night. I was able to succeed partly because of his willingness to bend my schedule at work around my schooling! I would have robbed my father of the pride that us dads feel when we see our children accomplish things. I almost robbed my wife and children of getting to see their dad/husband succeed. Thank you Lord for making me see the wisdom of my wifes' words. At the graduation ceremony, we were waiting in the auditorium to be called out under the tent for our diplomas. Someone had some white tape they were using to put funny signs on the top of their caps. I asked to borrow it. I had an important message to put on my cap......something I wanted everyone to see! It seemed to take forever to get to the nursing program graduates! They finally called us up by rows. As I was over on the side waiting to go up for my diploma, I looked over..............there was my wife and three little ones looking up to me with pride and excitement. My wife was trying to get my picture. I tilted my cap to her as she snapped the picture. She told me later she was overwhelmed with emotion as she read the top of my cap. I went up for my diploma and tried to tip my cap for all to see as I left the stage.....not that anyone cared but me and my family. Written in bold letters were the words, "THANKS CATHERINE". I didn't think much of it at the time, except that I wanted her to know how much I appreciated her for being a stronghold for me through the whole schooling experience. Now however, years later, I am glad that I was able to acknowledge her there because I surely couldn't have done it without her help. I will never forget those days; the pinning and the graduation. Not because I am proud of me. I'll always remember because I saw how it all has very little to do with me. I am the priviledged one. As it says in collossians chapter 3 verse 4, "When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory". By putting my wifes desires for me to go to the graduation ahead of my own self-centeredness, I was blessed. I felt like it was a moment of HIS glory and not mine. In fact, I still get that feeling whenever I remember those days. Thank you Lord. Help me to remember to be "others" centered instead of self-centered, in all my activities. Well, that is the story of how I became a nurse. God is good............ALL THE TIME!!