I had a conversation a few weeks ago with a single mom about raising children. She had many questions for me because, she was explaining how her daughter is now 17. When she was 16 she realized that her daughter had a secret boyfriend and they were having sex. She told me of the clearly wonderful relationship she has with her daughter now and how they are very open about things and how her daughter knows her mom cares for her and is there for her. She has had to explain things very plainly to her about birth control methods. Her main concern is that she not get pregnant at a young age and ruin her life. My friend tells me she was 16 when she had her daughter. There was a guy there but they broke up amicably. The father is involved in the child's life but just not as her mom's husband.
I applaud this woman's efforts. She has done her best to raise her daughter with good morals and to work hard. She has done it without a man to help her. God bless her for doing the best she can with what she has.
Her questions to me were something like this;
"What will you do when your daughter comes to you and asks to go to a movie with a boy? Will you give them a ride? Don't you think peer pressure is going to win out over what the parents think?"
Good questions. I told her that I can't just give a quick answer to these questions. They involve so much explanation. It's a strange thing. Even though we both live in the same world, we are worlds apart in many ways. We have raised our children to believe that the Word of God is true. That you do not take what you want out of the word and fit it into YOUR way of looking at things and go from there. It's that you do your best to adjust MY own way of thinking to the way God sees things. We have prayed for them.......Every single day........That's right every day since even before they were born! There are not many things I do every day. I eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, not much else. So to pray for them daily is a big thing. I think this has had a big impact on who they are; bigger than Catherine and I even realize. We did not teach them ideas as much as the absolute truth about who they are, and who God is. Absolute truth. God is God, and you were created in His image. You are loved by Him not because of anything you do but simply because of who you are......His child. He has given us guidelines to live by. They are there to protect us from evil influences and any other overall harm that may come to us in life. Sex relations are a gift from God. He created sex and every incredibly awesome feeling that comes from it! It was HIS idea! He wants us to absolutely enjoy it. We forget that sometimes. We think sex is dirty somehow; it's not. The problems come when any person,(yes, this is an absolute truth and not just an opinion), anyone at all tries to engage in this activity outside of God's guidelines. We have taught our children this and they believe it.....Because it is an absolute truth given to us by our Creator.
So you see our philosophy is totally different about relationships than many other people. I teach my children about relationships. They are with us all the time so Catherine and I are of primary influence over them and not the school system, or their peers. I am glad for this. We learn together through books, some television, and many many conversations about human behavior and emotions and feelings. The discussions we have are endless. I love when we just sit and talk and talk and talk. The other point is that peer influence is something I am not naive to. That is why we feel it is worthy of our best efforts to limit and closely monitor the peers that my children spend their time with. It is our responsibility to protect and guide them until they can go out on their own; oh, and another thing we discovered, is the value of positive Peer influence. We see it as our duty as parents to raise these children to become productive members of society, but mostly to honor God in the things they do. Time will tell. We hope and pray that our children do not grow up and have 9 heads. It seems to me that my children have great personalities, and are extremely knowledgeable of their own humanness. This helps them understand others. This will also aide them in having a good future. It's just another area where we feel like pilgrims. Not many people are living life the way we are trying to. There are some but you have to search for them. This is one thing we are thankful for in this country. The right to raise our children as we think we should, and the right for you to raise your children as you think you should. That's enough for now. I'm rambling.
god bless.