Why is it so difficult to take care of myself?
It has been so long since I have worked out to keep myself in shape. I feel I am so far from in shape that it is difficult to even do light workouts every other day! This is poor. I am not happy with this but it will not get any better unless I start somewhere. I was in such good shape when I was younger. I am not young anymore. I have been working out for a couple weeks now with my wife and it does feel good to feel my muscles again. However it is tough to not get discouraged easily. It's like a spiritual battle for my physical health! Some may say that I gotta just DO IT!! Well, I want to and we are just doing it despite our feelings of not wanting to. It just amazes me. I have incredible powers of self-deception. No one on earth made me eat too much food to get this big and out of shape. I did it to myself. I HATE THAT!! I would be lost at this point if my wife was not with me encouraging me to work out. She is in much better shape than I am. She has muscles. I have skin over some fatty tissue, attached to bone. OK it's not that bad. I can sense my self-pity coming through now. I just ask for others to pray for me to not quit and to just do it. There is a spirit of evil in the world and I am in daily battle against it. The Lord gives me victory daily in many areas, but I have remained fat. I do not want this. I find it hard to believe the Lord wants me out of shape. HE loves me more than I love myself. I thank God for getting me to work outs all these mornings. I guess if I just keep trusting in Him and humble myself, (by not listening to the self delusional thinking in the morning and just coming down to work out), then the weight will come off in His time and the muscle will build.....one day at a time.
Thursday, September 30, 2004
Monday, September 20, 2004
When did protection become a bad thing??......................................
I was in the nurses lounge the other day, which consists of a table and chairs with a fridge. There were a group of 5-6 women nurses, aides, and our wonderful secretary Demetria; she affectionately (I hope), calls me Moos-olini!--instead of Mullaney. Well, they were discussing children. One nurse said something like,
" You have to be a fool these days to not get your daughters on the pill as soon as they have their period. You know they are gonna fool around as soon as they can".
I was kind of surprised to hear her say this. I was even more taken aback to hear all the women at the table nod in agreement saying," Shore- do, you don't ever lie! You got that right."
Then I made the mistake (probably), of opening my own pie hole and offering my unsolicited opinion. " I don't agree with that at all!"
Well, this was met with some more comments.
"Oh Dan, you don't think your girl is lookin for a boy? You don't know what she's doin all the time. She out there and when you turn your back, she say-- I'm goin out to play dad bye. Then she go around the corner and she be doin the wild thing with the boys in ther neighborhood!"
"I don't think my daughter would do that. I trust my girls".
"Oh, Dan.....you naive! I can't believe you think she's not lookin to do that."
Well, they went on and on of how I am just naive. It really bothered me to allow them to walk away thinking that I was wrong and they were right. I hate letting people think they are right when I really think they are wrong and I am right. It's humbling to say nothing and allow others to think what they think without me trying to straighten them out!! OK perhaps you can see that it is actually arrogant for me to think that I am right and they are wrong, or to even think that I can change their minds to see things my way instead of the way they see things. After this event, I had some more sober thinking about it, which generally happens when I can step away from a volatile situation long enough to think things through.
What was happening to me while I was in the conversation? Well, I was getting defensive, feeling threatened by their surety that I was naive and my daughters were practicing deciet against my wife and I. I had fear of their opinions of me at that moment because I was saying something different than them, and I was also practicing SOME restraint over my tongue because I could sense in some people's tone of voice that my opinion was foreign to their understanding of the situation and that this was not the place to lay my thoughts on the subject before them on the table--remember, they never asked me what I thought! Boy.....there was a LOT going on in my head huh? That's usually the case isn't it? We are usually thinking so many things at once that it's difficult to even remember what we were thinking sometimes. When I got home, I spoke with my wife and daughters about it all. Poor Grace was getting downright agitated at THOSE women and wanted to go down there and straighten them out!! (I don't know where she gets that attitude).
I'm glad I stopped talking. Things are different for me and my children. They are with their mother all day everyday. When your child is not with you all day, but is surrounded only by people of the exact same age as them, then there really is a threat to their purity. There is a proverb written thousands of years ago by King solomom that says, " The companion of fools suffers harm." While I do not believe children are fools, I think most people would agree that children do foolish things. There is another proverb that says, "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child." I don't really have a definitive point here, just that we think it is better for children to spend most of their time with adults who love them than with other children. People who know us, know that our children are very sociable. We allow them to play with other children but only when we feel it is a safe environment. We do our best anyway. We are not perfect, but we think that protecting them from poor influences is our job as their parents. Some say that this is unrealistic and will harm them in the long run because they will not learn how to deal with real life situations in the real world. I feel that people who claim this are unthinking. What is more real; living each day with different people around you of different ages all the time, being forced to interact and communicate daily with people of all ages,
or being forced to sit at a desk with people all the same age as you, day in and day out for twelve or more years! We do not protect our children from real life-----we thrust it upon them!
To protect our children from evil; this we see as an important job. The evidence is in the children themselves. What are my children like? Do they appear stunted because of all the protection we have been providing them? I don't think so. Using an extreme to make a point, you do not have to get addicted to crack to know that it is a bad thing to get addicted to crack. Likewise, my children do not have to engage in certain adolescent behavior that is harmful to them to know that it is harmful to them. The scriptures tell us to be innocent in the ways of evil. We do our best to accomplish this. I hope and pray that others are doing their best to keep their children pure too. I alway remember too, that our children never have to even leave the house to be surrounded by people who sin everyday. I love my children. We will continue to do our best to raise them up to be godly people, who will contribute to the betterment of society. I know my life is better because of their presence.
I was in the nurses lounge the other day, which consists of a table and chairs with a fridge. There were a group of 5-6 women nurses, aides, and our wonderful secretary Demetria; she affectionately (I hope), calls me Moos-olini!--instead of Mullaney. Well, they were discussing children. One nurse said something like,
" You have to be a fool these days to not get your daughters on the pill as soon as they have their period. You know they are gonna fool around as soon as they can".
I was kind of surprised to hear her say this. I was even more taken aback to hear all the women at the table nod in agreement saying," Shore- do, you don't ever lie! You got that right."
Then I made the mistake (probably), of opening my own pie hole and offering my unsolicited opinion. " I don't agree with that at all!"
Well, this was met with some more comments.
"Oh Dan, you don't think your girl is lookin for a boy? You don't know what she's doin all the time. She out there and when you turn your back, she say-- I'm goin out to play dad bye. Then she go around the corner and she be doin the wild thing with the boys in ther neighborhood!"
"I don't think my daughter would do that. I trust my girls".
"Oh, Dan.....you naive! I can't believe you think she's not lookin to do that."
Well, they went on and on of how I am just naive. It really bothered me to allow them to walk away thinking that I was wrong and they were right. I hate letting people think they are right when I really think they are wrong and I am right. It's humbling to say nothing and allow others to think what they think without me trying to straighten them out!! OK perhaps you can see that it is actually arrogant for me to think that I am right and they are wrong, or to even think that I can change their minds to see things my way instead of the way they see things. After this event, I had some more sober thinking about it, which generally happens when I can step away from a volatile situation long enough to think things through.
What was happening to me while I was in the conversation? Well, I was getting defensive, feeling threatened by their surety that I was naive and my daughters were practicing deciet against my wife and I. I had fear of their opinions of me at that moment because I was saying something different than them, and I was also practicing SOME restraint over my tongue because I could sense in some people's tone of voice that my opinion was foreign to their understanding of the situation and that this was not the place to lay my thoughts on the subject before them on the table--remember, they never asked me what I thought! Boy.....there was a LOT going on in my head huh? That's usually the case isn't it? We are usually thinking so many things at once that it's difficult to even remember what we were thinking sometimes. When I got home, I spoke with my wife and daughters about it all. Poor Grace was getting downright agitated at THOSE women and wanted to go down there and straighten them out!! (I don't know where she gets that attitude).
I'm glad I stopped talking. Things are different for me and my children. They are with their mother all day everyday. When your child is not with you all day, but is surrounded only by people of the exact same age as them, then there really is a threat to their purity. There is a proverb written thousands of years ago by King solomom that says, " The companion of fools suffers harm." While I do not believe children are fools, I think most people would agree that children do foolish things. There is another proverb that says, "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child." I don't really have a definitive point here, just that we think it is better for children to spend most of their time with adults who love them than with other children. People who know us, know that our children are very sociable. We allow them to play with other children but only when we feel it is a safe environment. We do our best anyway. We are not perfect, but we think that protecting them from poor influences is our job as their parents. Some say that this is unrealistic and will harm them in the long run because they will not learn how to deal with real life situations in the real world. I feel that people who claim this are unthinking. What is more real; living each day with different people around you of different ages all the time, being forced to interact and communicate daily with people of all ages,
or being forced to sit at a desk with people all the same age as you, day in and day out for twelve or more years! We do not protect our children from real life-----we thrust it upon them!
To protect our children from evil; this we see as an important job. The evidence is in the children themselves. What are my children like? Do they appear stunted because of all the protection we have been providing them? I don't think so. Using an extreme to make a point, you do not have to get addicted to crack to know that it is a bad thing to get addicted to crack. Likewise, my children do not have to engage in certain adolescent behavior that is harmful to them to know that it is harmful to them. The scriptures tell us to be innocent in the ways of evil. We do our best to accomplish this. I hope and pray that others are doing their best to keep their children pure too. I alway remember too, that our children never have to even leave the house to be surrounded by people who sin everyday. I love my children. We will continue to do our best to raise them up to be godly people, who will contribute to the betterment of society. I know my life is better because of their presence.
Back in Virginia...............
I feel like we never left. All those I once worked with have welcomed me back with open arms. Almost all the people I worked with before are still here. It is such a pleasure to work with Sharon, and Aris again. It's nice to already know what is expected of me and to be able to do it. I am looking forward to living in VB for the next 3 months. Our place is very nice; better than the last one. While it was nice to have a house in MD, I am glad we are not in a house this time. It is such a relief to not have a lawn, to not have so many rooms to keep clean, and I guess it just is easier to live in an apartment complex-style place. They have maintanence to help with any troubles you have. Speaking of troubles......apparently the movers did not install the washer correctly, and it had a leak in one of the pipes. We noticed it right away, but not before the damage was done. Maintenance called while I was at the home depot getting a hose to fix it, to inform us that water was gushing through the ceiling into the bathroom of the tennants below us. Isn't that a nice way to say....HOWDY neighbor!! They were nice about it, but we feel bad for them. It was completely the movers fault and we rectified their error. Unfortunately our neighbors will first remember us as the ones who flooded the bathroom and ruined the drywall as well. Oh well, there are some things out of our control. I hate that.
I am now typing a few weeks into our stay. I get away from typing at times. It has been interesting so far. Miss Diggs, whom I mentioned in much earlier blogs, is as funny as ever. If she's thinkin' it, she's sure gonna say it soon! And when she does, it sets us all to laughter. She is a very down to earth woman. She has a heart e as good as gold. I've already accumulated many stories to come home to the children with. I love telling them how the day has gone and we usually are laughing hysterically with each other almost every night! I want to be them all more than anybody else. What a blessing that is. My children are a pleasure to be with. There are many who do not echo that sentiment. Perhaps it's not for everyone; spending all the time you can with your family. The way I see it for me is, soon they will be gone and on their own. They are with us such a short time. Even if they remain with us till they're 20, it is a short time n the scheme of life. I look forward to seeing what God has in store for all of us. I am going to stop here because I want to write a different blog about some things that have happened this week at work............bye!
I feel like we never left. All those I once worked with have welcomed me back with open arms. Almost all the people I worked with before are still here. It is such a pleasure to work with Sharon, and Aris again. It's nice to already know what is expected of me and to be able to do it. I am looking forward to living in VB for the next 3 months. Our place is very nice; better than the last one. While it was nice to have a house in MD, I am glad we are not in a house this time. It is such a relief to not have a lawn, to not have so many rooms to keep clean, and I guess it just is easier to live in an apartment complex-style place. They have maintanence to help with any troubles you have. Speaking of troubles......apparently the movers did not install the washer correctly, and it had a leak in one of the pipes. We noticed it right away, but not before the damage was done. Maintenance called while I was at the home depot getting a hose to fix it, to inform us that water was gushing through the ceiling into the bathroom of the tennants below us. Isn't that a nice way to say....HOWDY neighbor!! They were nice about it, but we feel bad for them. It was completely the movers fault and we rectified their error. Unfortunately our neighbors will first remember us as the ones who flooded the bathroom and ruined the drywall as well. Oh well, there are some things out of our control. I hate that.
I am now typing a few weeks into our stay. I get away from typing at times. It has been interesting so far. Miss Diggs, whom I mentioned in much earlier blogs, is as funny as ever. If she's thinkin' it, she's sure gonna say it soon! And when she does, it sets us all to laughter. She is a very down to earth woman. She has a heart e as good as gold. I've already accumulated many stories to come home to the children with. I love telling them how the day has gone and we usually are laughing hysterically with each other almost every night! I want to be them all more than anybody else. What a blessing that is. My children are a pleasure to be with. There are many who do not echo that sentiment. Perhaps it's not for everyone; spending all the time you can with your family. The way I see it for me is, soon they will be gone and on their own. They are with us such a short time. Even if they remain with us till they're 20, it is a short time n the scheme of life. I look forward to seeing what God has in store for all of us. I am going to stop here because I want to write a different blog about some things that have happened this week at work............bye!
