I haven't had any coffee all day today.  I have a raging headache!!  This will pass I guess.   I don't like the feeling.  I took some tylenol but it hasn't touched the headache.   To top it off, I have to stay up all night at work.  This is difficult.  Catherine and I are both taking a break from caffeine.  I hate this!  However, it is something I am volunteering to do.  I don't have to do it.  I am choosing to do this.  AHHHHH!!!!!  My head!  Well, I must remember that it does get better.  When I did this before it only gave me a headache for a day or so.  I am almost done with the hard part.  Maybe I could have a cup of coffee to celebrate!  I must admit, I drink coffee for effect and not for taste.  I enjoy water much more, but the coffee gets me goin so to speak.  It gives me energy.  How is that different than when I used to do "other things" to keep me going?   I don't really see the difference.  Maybe because it's easily accesible and a socially acceptable thing to do?  I know I don't want to HAVE to have something to get through the day.  I am at that point with coffee, so I am glad we are doing this...... even though I don't like it.  Sometimes I have to do what I don't want to do, in order to get the desired results I always wanted.  My desired results?  To not be a slave in any way to anything.   I think it will also help me to exersise, and eat good foods.  I enjoy healthy foods, so I don't know why I struggle so with eating right.  I have made myself far heavier than I should be.  No one has done this to me but me.  I am  not pleased to be so overweight.  I need to take better care of myself.  I miss being active as I was when I was younger.   I have a wife who is willing to become more active.  Help me lord to do what needs to be done.   In many ways, I feel so weak.  I am weak but he is strong right?  I'd like to type that I will lose 50 pounds by the end of the year, but I have such little confidence in my ability to come through on such a promise.  Lord direct my thinking.  Change my heart so that I can see things more clearly.  You have made me able to live properly and to be able to enjoy life.    I want to do this.  Show me the way, and please give me the willingness to follow your way.     

We have another visitor with us this week. It is a pleasure for my family when we can have certain extended family members visit us on our journey. Joan is here with us this week; Catherine's mom. They went on a skipjack yesterday. She is an interesting woman. I think she was probably quite the risk taker when she was younger. I see where my wife gets her free spirit.
We are not sure yet where we are going next. It may be to Virginia again. I called the place I worked at before and they may be interested in me coming for a short term stay; maybe 13 weeks. We want to go someplace on this coast as we are definitely going to Florida again this winter. Plan your vacations now! Let us know when you want to visit. I sort of wish we were going right to Florida from here because the golf would be soooo cheap! Then we could just not play during peak season. I don't care if it's hot. It would be kind of nice to be at the same place from september to may. Or would it? I'm not sure. Well, the one thing we know is that we don't know where we are going. We're getting used to that.
It has been at times difficult to be here in Maryland. I think it's because we are such Bostonians deep down and don't know how to slow down. A part of me really likes the slower pace. I want the slower pace. Another part just keeps saying hurry up! I believe the Lord is doing some good things for my children here. Grace in particular has been really challenged. It's a few months of solace for her. She has met it like a mature person, and I am grateful she can speak to us about the struggles she is having. She is truly a blessing to our whole family. I personally think she's wicked smahht! I ask God to help me listen to her wisdom. I also ask for God to give me patience in dealing with a young adult who thinks she knows everything!! I guess it's true; it's hard to be humble when you're so awesome. This is the case with Grace. She is being run through the fire here in MD. Forced to sit with herself. I hope she comes to the same conclusions that her mother and I have; that she is a wonderful young adult entering gracefully into womanhood. I just hope she has the humilty to see it. WEll I gotta go now. I am tired. It's 4:15 in the morning . Nightshift can get very slow. All my patients are doing well but I must go check on them now.

Annapolis Maryland. I had never been there before. I was impressed with its looks. It was so different. The buildings were all so close together. The doors to peoples' house right there on the street! It reminded me somewhat of parts of Boston. We went to the Kunta Kinte exhibit that is located at the dock where they supposedly brought him in off the boat! When we were leaving, I looked back down the street and it reminded me of the film roots and the way it must have looked back then. I would describe it as a very picturesque place. I think we will visit there again before leaving. The thought didn't escape me that these are fleeting moments with our children. I am grateful to be here with them to enjoy these times. My children; while they can frustrate the heck out of me at times, they are truly a blessing. The day started out pretty wild as we went into the bank to do some banking. Mike wanted to stay in the car. OK I said. Just keep all the doors locked and don't come up front for any reason and we will be right back. Well, can you JUST GUESS what happened. About 6-7 minutes later, in walks Michael. "Hey you guys, I have to go to the bathroom."
"Do you have the keys?"
"No."
"Did you lock the car?"
When I think of how his face looked when asked this question, I can't help but laugh. We weren't laughing at that moment though. He was so frustrated with himself, he grabbed his own head in obvious agitation. Upon further investigation, the tailgate was open and we got in no problem.....phew!! And Michael got to go to the bathroom....pew!
just kidding.
Well then we hit the road for Annapolis. It took a couple of hours. When we got there, we stood at the side of the state house which was one of our destinations. Left or right? I chose right. We arrived at a big door which was locked. As we got there, a torrential downpour started. Michel and Katie were delighted cause they could now get completely soaked! ME? I had memories of my mother running through my head as I nastily said things like," Don't you dare get wet! Why did you do that? Now they won't let us in. We're gonna try and go in and they wont let YOU in!....'cause you're soaked." When did I get old? Regardless of my protestations, Michael and Katie were pretty much thoroughly soaked as we learned we were at a locked back entrance to the statehouse and could not go to the front because it was pouring out! As the rain let up we ran around to the "correct" side, and they even let Michael in as wet as he was. While there, I charged my cell phone in the MD state house foyer because my battery was low. This is the oldest state house still in operation in the country.....I did not know that. There were many interesting exhibits. I'm glad we went. I had fun. We had a wonderful dinner and then went to a souvenir shop or as my wife calls them, "the silva-neer shop. Sometimes we're suckers for these places. Be on the lookout... you may get one.
On the ride home we had many interesting discussions. One thing I can say about my children; they know how to have fun. We started talking about presidents and someone spoke of how Ronald Reagan won 43 states when he ran for president. As we sat in awe thinking of how anyone could win by such a large margin, Katie chimed in," That's pretty pathetic for the OTHER guy!" I personally had a hard time stopping my laughter. It was one of those times when tears start filling your eyes and you wish you could stop laughing because it hurts? It's funny, but that's what I'll remember about the trip to Annapolis most of all; the talks with the children in the car, and at dinner.
Well, we got home just in time to a dog with her legs crossed! She was so excited to see us but it was tempered by her intense need to relieve herself!
So, that was our trip to Annapolis. It was fun and educational. Most of our life is FULL of fun and education, woven together on this journey. We hope the children get a great education from the places we visit. So far it seems to be working.
who needs a desk?

Stay-free ultra-thin, regular with wings!!
What the heck does that have to do with anything?? Well, let me tell ya! I must remember this little mantra that I have created. Stayfree ultra-thin regular with wings. When you repeat it over and over it can be put to a catchy tune. It helped me remember that this is something I must remember for the benefit of all the girls in my household. There was a time I'd probably be too self-conscious to buy these in a store. Now I walk up and down the aisle on this particular day because I am so tired that I don't want to forget. Stayfree ultra-thin regular with wings. Stayfree ultra-thin regular with wings. Stayfree ultra-thin regular with wings! See! I didn't forget! My wife and children are very pleased with my memorization skills. But seriously; it's a good thing to take the time to know what it is they need. There are so many kinds!! A man could get lost! What the heck do they need wings for anyway?? Wings? Come on now. This type of discussion is just so...... unmacho! How do you talk about stayfree ultra-thin regular with wings in a manly kinda way? You just can't say that cool. It reminds me of when the children were still just babes and my wife would have me hold the diaper bag while she did something in a store. Did you ever try and look cool or manly holding a flowery diaper bag!! That is no small feat let me tell you! Or how manly and macho do you think I felt wearing a bunny suit to a Halloween party with my little girl? If you walk just right though you can still seem like a tough guy even in a bunny suit....or so I like to fool myself into thinking. But honestly these are the kinds of things you don't think about before having kids. I am glad to remember what they need at the store because I tell you I have bought the wrong thing more than once. If they have no wings.......forgetabout it! Go back and get the other ones; the ones with the wings! I say all this tongue in cheek because I would never have it any other way. I love my daughters and my wife. It's taken me a while to remember what kind to get but now I got it. In fact, I have to put it in my palm pilot so I can never forget it. Here I have been working hard and buying things for my wife and kids when all I had to do was remember Stayfree ultra-thin regular with wings and they would all think I was a great husband and father because I knew what they needed.
These are the things we talk about at my house; and we laugh and laugh about it all. It is such a pleasure to be a part of my family. My children have a wonderful sense of humor. They make me laugh. Just last night we all were lying in my bed before I came to work for this night shift and were just enjoying each others' company. There is no place I would rather be than with my wife and children. That is a blessing. It seems I run into many men who do their best to get away from the family to have some time alone. It doesn't make sense to me. It's the best place for a husband and father to be. The children will be with us only a short 10 to 20 years and then they will be on their own. It is worth it to spend all the time I can with them now before they move on.... as they should, into the rest of their lives. I am so grateful for all the time I get to spend with them. It will be over too soon. Soon we will wish we could hear them yelling around the house. We will wish there were legos left on the floor to step on in the middle of the night;(boy do they hurt!). I am going to do my best to enjoy it all because you only live once and I want to enjoy them while they are with me. Soon I will have my wife to myself again. We have never lost focus that it is us raising them. And when we are done, then we will have each other back again completely. She is my best friend and I look forward to that day coming. But I will cherish the time I have with all the children because time flies by. I keep telling people I just turned forty, and the fact of the matter is that I turn 41 next month! I leave you with these words of wisdom: Stayfree ultra-thin regular with wings!